Circumstances

Thursday night I was in my hotel room in Atlanta. All my treatments this past week have been at 9:15am. Until this week the treatments have all been in the afternoon. I received a phone call from Emory Proton Center telling me that the big cyclotron machine was inoperable, so there would be no treatments on Friday. So there I was sitting in Atlanta all day Thursday waiting for my Friday morning treatment only to find out that I had wasted all that time.

I was angry. Why couldn’t they call sooner? This is a $150million machine so how can it have malfunctions that shut them down for a whole day? Now I would have to add a treatment on the end of my treatment schedule. I have finished 30 treatments, so this means I will have to go for a treatment on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday next week. 

We all wrestle with circumstances beyond our control almost every day. Right now we are all hunkering down because of the Coronapocalypse. We have been angry because our favorite store does not have any toilet paper left (go figure—why are people hoarding TP??—this is a viral infection of the respiratory system!!), the Clorox wipes shelf is empty and all the Lysol spray disappeared days ago. What are we going to do? 

I went into Costco on Wednesday to buy one item—yes, it was a crazy idea, but I was on a mission to make kids happy. We sent an Atlanta United pullover to our son-in-law for part of his birthday gift, but it did not fit. Well, you know how it is at Costco and Sam’s. If you don’t buy it today, it may not be there tomorrow, so I was instructed to go to Costco and buy a larger size. The parking lot was a mess. I had to park in the area the furtherest away from the front of the store—you know that area where no one ever parks. As I was trekking towards the store, a man with a buggy full of goods  said to me, “You don’t want to do this.” I was not sure what he meant. When I walked into the store, I found out. It was packed!  The checkout line stretched all the way to the back of Costco—no kidding! 

I wasn’t about to wait in one of those lines with dozens of carts lined up just to make one purchase. As I was walking out I started feeling guilty because I know how much this particular person LOVES Atlanta United soccer team and how disappointed he would be if I did not get him a shirt that would fit him. So I did a u-turn and zigzagged through the maze of loaded carts and picked out the right size and then looked way back in the store at the end of the line. I shook my head and decided that I would try to get checked out at the Customer Service desk. 

I maneuvered through the carts and stood in line at the service desk for a few minutes deciding how I could persuade the clerk to check me out. As my turn approached, I examined the shirt and was surprised that I had picked up the wrong size. Yes, I did. So it was back through the maze to retrieve the right size and get back in line at the service desk. When my turn came I was informed that they were not allowed to check out anyone at the Customer Service desk. I was angry again at the circumstances that placed me in this predicament—panic buying by people so scared that their only reaction is to buy things like a hoarder. All these people were causing me anguish and I was not happy. As I walked away in despair, the clerk said to me, “Why don’t you try the pharmacy? They may let you check out back there.” Well it was nice of her to suggest that, and her nicety shocked me out of my feeling sorry for myself. I realized that I could not control my circumstances, but I could control how I react to them. As I walked to the other side of the store through the buggies once again, I was more polite with people and asked them to excuse me instead of just plowing through them. Most of them responded with kind remarks and a smile. I was definitely in a better mood because I was spreading cheer and people were reciprocating with their own versions of cheer. 

After getting back into my car in the back forty of the parking lot, I remembered a quote from Martha Washington: “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.”

And, yes, the clerk at the pharmacy told me that they did not usually check out anyone who did not have a prescription, but since I was so kind, she would be happy to check me out. 

One more quote and this one from Coach Lou Holtz: “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.”