Receiver

When Cheryl and I returned to the states in 1980 from West Africa, our goal was for me to get a degree in agriculture so we could return to the field as agricultural missionaries. Our leadership in West Africa had told us that we could not be given an assignment in agricultural work unless we had an agricultural degree. I was not happy about having to return to the states to go back to school for another degree, especially since I grew up on or around the farm all my life.

Nevertheless, we were determined to stay in the states as long as necessary to meet that requirement. I was going to be a full-time student, and Cheryl was going to be a full-time mother of three small children. We didn't know exactly how we were going to feed those three small children since we had to go on leave of absence from the mission board. But, like He always does, God provided.

To make ends meet I had a variety of jobs. I worked on Mississippi State University's sheep farm during the week. As much as possible I spoke in churches on weekends and received honorariums from those generous people. I raised goats and lambs for 4-H club projects. I bottle-fed Holstein baby calves. We were living on a friend’s farm so I was able to do some truck farming. For those of you who do not know what truck farming is, I raised seasonal vegetables to sell to wholesalers in local farmers’ markets. Jeremy and Jason still tell people I was a slave driver because I only paid them fifty cents a bushel for picking peas. I thought I was rather generous to give him any money.

For six months we were living frugally, but we were very happy. Cheryl and I often refer to this time as some of the best in our lives because we were totally dependent on the Lord to provide for our needs. It was in the sixth month that we received some of the best news that Cheryl and I have ever received. Our home church, First Baptist Church, Vicksburg, Mississippi, had funds left over in their budget after their fiscal year. They sent us a check for $10,000! I will be eternally grateful for that very generous gift. My mentor, Dr. John McCall, was pastor of our home church at that time, and he was largely responsible for leading the church to help us.

Throughout those two years of studies in Starkville, Mississippi many people blessed us by giving us financial resources to help support our family. During this period of time Dr. McCall helped me to understand a very valuable life lesson. I was having a problem receiving these gifts. I was proud. I did not want people to see our family as needy.

I never had a problem with being a giver because my parents raised me to be generous to other people. But, I had a serious problem with being a receiver. It was Dr. McCall who showed me how important it is to be a good receiver as well as a good giver. He explained to me that in order to be a Godly giver I needed to learn to be a Godly receiver and accept gifts from others because of the blessing that the gift would be to me as well as to them. That was a huge spiritual marker in my life.

Today I was talking on the phone with Dr. McCall. There was sadness in his voice as he explained to me how he is having to depend on so many people to help him now. His back is injured, and his knees are worn out, so his faithful wife, Vicky, and others are helping him. I reminded him that he would be 95 in a couple weeks so it's time for other people to wait on him! Then he told me how difficult it is for him to allow others to serve him. After 43 years the mentee becomes the mentor. I reminded him of how he helped me with a life lesson many years ago and how he showed me the necessity of being a good receiver of grace and kindness from others and giving the glory to God. The Scripture teaches us that it is more important to give than to receive. Yes! However, many of us would be better givers if we were better receivers of love and grace from our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Good deal

You know the old adage: We are not losing our daughter we are gaining a son?

Today is Allison’s wedding day. I really don't feel like I'm losing a daughter. I expect her to be around to help take care of me when I get too old to take care of myself. 

When Will came to ask me for Allison's hand in marriage I told him that I have been praying for him for years. I even showed Will a couple of entries in my journal over the past couple of years where I've specifically prayed that God would send the right man into Allison's life. So I told Will, "You are an answer to prayer!" 

That was in January, and I had just returned from a project in West Africa. I told Will that since our family lived in Burkina Faso for so many years that we still followed some of the customs of West Africa. I explained that it is customary that the prospective groom pays a dowry to the bride’s family. Will is a very quiet young man and he hides his emotions well because he kept a very straight face as I told him the following: “While I was in West Africa a couple weeks ago I gathered information on the current cost of a bride. I learned that the price of a very good wife was four camels.” Will maintained that stoic face.

After a few moments of silence I finally asked Will, "So what do you think about that?" Will responded, “Four camels? That might be difficult." I told him I knew it might be hard to find four really good camels here in Georgia so I would give him grace and allow him to give me four great bicycles. Will works in a bicycle shop and they don't sell those inexpensive bicycles. I couldn't believe it one day when Will showed me bicycles that sold for $5000. So I told him that I wanted four of those $5000 bicycles as a dowry for Allison. He did not blink. He maintained his composure trying to figure me out. But I had a good laugh, and then he joined me. Relief showed in his face.

Will is a very fine young man, and we are very happy to have him as part of our family. Cheryl and I are getting the good deal: we get to keep Allison and we add Will to our family.

Reflective

Last night Kelli and Jason and the girls arrived from Jordan for the wedding this weekend. They came in two shifts: Kelli and two girls arrived in Atlanta at 5pm and Jason and the other two arrived at 9pm. Kelli was trying to stay awake for the arrival of the rest of the family, so we were talking—mainly I was talking trying to keep her awake. She mentioned this blog, and I reminded her that it was her comments that encouraged me to continue to write.

While trying to keep her awake I blabbered on about the blog. I admitted to Kelli that I was more productive with writing while we were in Florida. Although I continued my work and kept up with the pace of work during those six weeks in Florida, there were fewer interruptions and just more time to think and reflect. Now I don’t do a good job of writing if I just sit down and say to myself, “What am I going to write about?” I get ideas during those reflective times when I am allowing my mind to objectively wander—that means I am not zoned out, but I am relaxing my mind and allowing thoughts to come out of my heart and soul.

Interestingly enough, events from the past or creative thoughts are not the only type things that come from this reflective thinking. That is also a grand time of worshipping God. The Lord inhabits the hidden creases of our soul. He helps us by cleansing that which is unclean. He brings joy from things that we have temporarily forgotten. He brings hope from experiences while walking with Him. He assures me of His everlasting love for me.

As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. Proverbs 27:19 (ESV)

Blood brothers

I was in a meeting in South Carolina today with three friends all of whom are in their forties. The Lord has blessed me with several young friends who are engaged in business and who are seeking to walk with the Lord. As we concluded our meeting one of them said to me, “I love you, brother,” as we were hugging each other goodbye. There is a brotherly love that exists among men who walk with Jesus that sometimes goes deeper than blood brothers. That sounds strange—I remember as a boy when my friend and I would cut our hands and mix our blood so we could be blood brothers. That sounds savage but we learned it by watching Hopalong Cassidy on TV!

During our first term of service in West Africa we lived in Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire (Ivory Coast). One of the things that I disliked the most about living in that city was that the police were notorious for stopping cars for no apparent reason at all. They would be standing on the side of the road and when they waved at you they expected you to stop the car immediately. So, one day I got waved down (not the only time). There were 5 young Ivorian men in the car with me. I was mad and they were afraid—not because we had done anything wrong, but because a person could be stopped by the police for no reason and the policeman would take their government-issued identity card and put it under his hat until the person paid him a bribe.

The young men in my car were all new believers who were doing a Bible study with me. As I started to exit the car to confront the policeman one of them said that they would be praying for me.

I walked back to the policeman on the side of the road behind my car, and he asked for my driver’s license. I carried an international license for occasions just like this (you could buy another international license if the original was lost). After he scolded me for driving too fast (strictly a judgment call since he had no speed-checking devices), he put my license under his cap and said that I would have to pay a “fine” to get my license back. I was a young green missionary, but I had made up my mind that I would never pay a bribe. I paused silently and remembered my colleagues in the car praying for this situation.

The officer had walked away as if to ignore me, but I chased after him and told him (we are speaking French), “My brothers in the car are praying for you and me right now.” He turned and looked at my car and said that those men in the car could not be my brothers because they were Ivoirians. I said, “Pardon me, but they are indeed my brothers.” He said they could not be my blood brothers, and my reply was that we were blood brothers because of the blood of Jesus. He shocked me by responding, “That blood runs deeper than the same mother and same father,” and he gave me my license and said, “You are a good man who calls an African his blood brother.”

I returned to the car and my blood brothers were not shocked at what happened because they had been praying that the Lord would intervene in the heart of the policeman. They were faithful brothers who believed in the power of prayer and brotherhood.

“Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” Psalm 133:1 ESV

I, my, me and mine

We don’t have to be taught how to use the words “I, my, me and mine.” Have you ever thought of that? How many times have you seen a parent trying to teach their child these words? As parents and grandparents we drill our kids over and over to teach them fundamentals of our language. How many times do you have to say “thank you” before they finally catch on to the meaning. Those first person singular pronouns just come naturally.

I was talking with one of the graduates of IMPACT 360 yesterday. He has finished college and is now working with another of our worldview programs, Propel My Life. He told me that he learned something from his dad who learned something from me. I certainly had no idea of what he was talking about, but he refreshed my memory. A few years ago Cheryl and I were with his mom and dad at a MLB game, and in our conversation his dad was talking about his ministry and was saying “my program” and “my staff,” and I interrupted him and said that those were not his programs, but they belonged to many other people also. I told him that he should be saying “our program” and “our staff.”

Thinking about it now, it was rather rude that I said that. But now that I know it helped my friend I am happy I did it. Now my friend is reminding his children of the same principle: use we, our, and us more often than the first person personal pronouns.

A pet peeve of mine is to hear people referring to their work or ministry as if that person was the only one involved in the effort. Have you ever heard your pastor say “my deacons” or “my Minister of Music?” Have you ever heard your supervisor at work say “my staff” or “I did so-and-so” when you know that it took the whole team to get it done?

Many skills and talents we can master during our lifetime, but working on not promoting me is one that I will work on until my last breath.

To help me, I am regularly challenged by my favorite Bible verse:  ”He must increase and I must decrease.” John 3:30. Plain enuff!

Dreams

Friday night was opening night for the Rome Little Theater production of “The Sound of Music.” For a small town like Rome, Georgia, our Little Theater does a great job with their productions. I am a little prejudiced as Allison played the role of Maria—of course she was the best in the show.

Allison has her coffee shop to run and a wedding to plan, but she chose to try out for the Sound of Music knowing the productions would be a couple weeks before her wedding. Why? Not just to be in the theater as she is a regular performer in the troupe here in Rome. A lifelong dream of hers has been to be Maria in a musical production of “The Sound of Music.” When we were living in West Africa and Cheryl would crank up the generator to wash clothes, Allison begged to turn on the VHS and watch “The Sound of Music” tape. We have worn out several video tapes and DVDs through the years as the grandchildren are now hooked on it also.

Whether it’s a child dreaming about what she wants to be when she grows up or an adult who is dreaming about achieving something spectacular or a villager dreaming about being able to purchase something that is not possible in his economic status, dreams are important. There is an anonymous quote that says, “A civilization is as great as its dreams.”

When we were living in Clinton, Mississippi, and I was working at Mississippi College some friends asked if they could come by for a visit. It turned out that their intention was not to visit and have fun with us, but to convince us to sell Amway. Now they definitely did not come to the point quickly. They had been trained to make their pitch first and then come in with a great solution for us.

Here’s the way they worked. They asked us to write down five things that we had been dreaming about purchasing, but that had not been possible because of our financial limitations. Now first off, these friends did not know us very well. I think they only saw us as potential clients for their pyramid. If they had known us well they would have known that we had only recently arrived from 11 years of living in the bush of West Africa where we used a kerosene refrigerator, raised our own vegetables and fruits and bought most of our meat from the back of a bicycle of a villager who had just slaughtered a cow, pig, or goat. Luxury to us was a visit to the capital city of Ouagadougou every four to six weeks where we would stay in the air conditioned guest house and go swimming in the American Club pool.

The problem was that Cheryl and I could not list any “dreams” as our friends described. So, they started teasing us asking, “How would you like to have house on the lake?” “How about a ski boat or a recreational vehicle?” We were not really interested in a bigger house or a second house or a big boat. Then they started playing on our conscience: “Don’t you want your children to go to the finest colleges and to have big weddings?” That did not work either, so they wrote down some “things” that they thought every American family would dream about having one day. That helped them to complete their pitch and try to get us on board.

Cheryl and I have not been much on dreaming about buying things. It is not because we are so different or so much better than anyone else. We are SO human and SUCH sinners, but our DNA has just been to walk with the Lord as best we can and wait on Him. When a need arose, He provided according to His will. Sounds simple, but it is profound and has been a part of the foundation of our lives together for the past 43 years.  

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” Lamentations 3:25 (ESV)